I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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