remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
