Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
