let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize