Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This girl is more easily done than said...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
