I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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