Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
