something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
