In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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