It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just shotgunned beers for America
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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