do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
