Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
