Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize