i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
