I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
