Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize