Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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