problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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