Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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