She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
