We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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