i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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