my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize