Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
