I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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