fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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