I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
