I like to think it a success when the cops are called
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
