Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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