what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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