hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
