i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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