I seem to have left my pride at pride
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
