I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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