UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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