i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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