i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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