He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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