oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
