We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
