It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
