Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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