I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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