dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
