So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
