im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
