No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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