singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
