it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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