Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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