Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
