me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So vagazzling was a success
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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