I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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