apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
