its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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