you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
