It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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