were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
